Please Welcome......

Sebastian Anthony

28-09-2009

9.10pm

8lb 6oz

56cm

Before;

And after;


Lots happened inbetween and I will be back to tell all and show you some more pictures of our beatiful baby son.

Thanks for all the lovely wishes left here for me yesterday, I'm sure it really helped :-)

Daisie xxx

My Bag Is Packed

Well, I am due at the hospital in just over two hours time. I have not slept well. I am tearful. I am frightened. I feel powerless and not in control.

But I will be at home tonight with all my children.

The girls are as disappointed as I am as there were lots of things they wanted to see, ask and do when their brother arrives. Simon and I have made plans. The girls are going to go to school this morning, my very lovely friend is on standby to bring them to us should anything be happening before the end of the school day, which to be honest I doubt. I labour quickly but it all depends how busy the delivery ward is. If there are lots of labouring women they are not going to start off another too soon. I waited three days to be induced with Francecsa, I will not be waiting that long again. I will leave.

On the plus side there will be two midwives from my community team on the delivery ward today so hopefully I can be delivered by someone who I know and who knows my children and my wishes. Francesca is going to count her brother's fingers and toes just as Elizabeth did when Nathaniel arrived. She will hold him close to her while I get washed and dressed. I am never going to have another baby again and this is my last chance to give Francesca the true picture of birth. She was small and very ill when Nathaniel arrived and missed alot. It is messy, it is unpleasant, it hurts but it is not to be scared of. She will learn this today and take it with her into adult life and when her babies are about to arrive she will have no fear.

Simon is prepared to stop anyone coming near me with any drugs (other than oxytocin) and hopefully we can stop some of the problems that followed my last induced labour. He will back me up and the girls are ready and know what is expected of them.

The only down side is that unlike at home I cannot walk into another room when I need to swear and the girls cannot leave the room if they no longer want to see. But I think we are all ready for what is going to be a long but amazing day.

Tonight I will be at home with my husband my two daughters and my two sons.

Everything will be ok.

Daisie xxx

A Day In My Life In Pictures (not)!

Well, when Vonnie had the brilliant idea of lots of crafty Mummies making a record of their crafty day in pictures I thought 'how fun, I'll do that' Today was meant to be that day, great, I thought, I'll have had the baby and life will be getting back to normal. On Friday's we do an adventure playgroup and I am currently doing an art as therapy course in the afternoons. Loads of photo opportunities.

Well the first spanner in the works is that there is still no baby!

So here are a few pics, I will do it properly one day but today was just not meant to be the day.

Nathaniel was first up and helped me make the breakfasts and the lunches;


While the coffee brewed;

When everyone else emerged from their slumber Francesca practiced her weekly spellings;

Elizabeth had a slight strop as she didn't really want to get up (tell me, who does?);

And aliens kidnapped my husband and turned him into this well turned out efficient (not bimbling in the least) college manager;

A small amount of excitement occured at a quarter to nine when the car wouldn't start. The AA man arrived very swiftly and we were soon fixed and on our way;

He was a very nice man, a very very nice man (remember that?)! Nathaniel loved his big yellow van :-)

A little crafting happened in the way of a birthday presnet for Francesca to take to her friend's party tomorrow;

There is a dinner plate, a side plate and a bowl with her name on.

Part of the 'deal' of leaving my bump alone until next week was that I present myself at clinic again today to be 'checked'. So off Nathnaiel and I duely trotted this afternoon, missing my art class. It wasn't my midwife but another one from the team. I didn't get a last ditch attmept at starting labour with another sweep (not that they're my favourite thing but I did think it may help at this late hour) as she didn't think after already having two that another would be helpful. And there I was willing to try anything!

A week seemed a long time on monday but it is friday now and I only have two days in which to be able to have my baby son at home. I am losing heart with the whole thing. I feel like it will never happen. The odds are too slim. And then a hospital delivery brings up so many other issues when it comes to our other children. Too many to go into now, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

We arrived late for the art as therapy cousrse. No one minded, it has happened since the course began three weeks ago because of the bump! We are currently reflecting on aspects of our past, and today was not the day for me to do it really. I have been tearful and snappy and my poor little brain (and heart) is in such turmoil.

But all is not lost!

My lovely friend Jenny brought me round a vanilla slice earlier and I am just going to drown my sorrows in that and a small glasss of merlot, we had a boozey stewie cassarole affair for tea and there was some left over. And you never know, baby may decide to make an appearance and then the midwife on call will think I am a mad alcie! Well, she'd be half right :-)

So sorry Vonnie for not having an exciting day to record in pictures, maybe another day.........

Daisie xxxx

A Week Is A Long Time In Baby Growing

Well, off I went to be poked and prodded and be told that really my baby needed to be induced sooner rather than later.

I am very proud of myself, I didn't cry! I explained that all my babies have been 'late' and that they have all been big healthy babies and that I was determined to give birth at home in my own suroundings with my family. She very kindly has allowed me until next monday (28th) before more talk of induction, although by the time another week has passed I might be more inclined to induction anyway. I hope it doesn't get that far but we'll see.....

And because I don't like posts without pictures and I have done nothing remotely noteworthy to share of late I have found some random picture of my three during the summer all being very goofy but so adorable;


Daisie xxx

Still Here!

A big thank you for all the lovely emails I have had over the past few days!

But there is no baby yet.

Yes, a week overdue now, nearly.

Unless something dramatic happens in the next twelve hours I will be presenting myself, bump first, to the consultant at the ante-natal clinic at the hospital and pleading my case for not being induced.

My community midwife and I have made a plan and hopefully 'She Who Decides' will allow me to go another week before setting a date for induction. I just need to remeber to be assertive and not agressive when stating my case. And not to cry.

I have changed the bunk beds this weekend, jumping down the ladders, I have been running up and down stairs, I have done a marathon ironing session hoping that gravity will help me out but no joy. I had a membrane sweep on friday afternoon but that didn't get the little man moving, he's just comfy and not coming out until he's ready!

I do hope he makes an appearance soon though as my middle sister is flying up on wednesday afternoon to meet her new nephew. She is staying with my Mum until tuesday though so hopefully by then he'll be around for an auntie snuggle.

And rest assured you will know as soon as he arrives!

Daisie xxx

A Good Place To Sleep

Well today baby is due, no sign and unless something amazing happens in the next few hours he will be late, just like his sisters and brother!! Well, only late if you're counting, babies do tend to come when they are fully 'baked'. Perhaps he's just not quite finished yet?

I will not miss the aching legs, the vomittyitis, the heart burn, the sore bum and perenium and I look forward to being able to wear my own jeans again and being able to see my own knees without the aid of a mirror!

Nathaniel will miss his comfy spot to sleep;

He came to cuddle me in bed on Sunday morning and promptly fell asleep, Elizabeth took these lovely pictures for me.

He talks to his baby brother and asks frequently 'when you come out?' He has sorted through his toy cars and declared that his new baby can have the smallest one but cannot (under any circumstances) share his Fimble. He is looking after a cuddly elephant for the baby and it is his job to bring it when he (finally) arrives.

Francesca has sorted the first clothes and tiny nappy that the baby will need when he comes and it is her job to be ready with them when he needs to get dressed.

Elizabeth has a very important job but I will tell you about that at the time.

The girls both want to be involved in finger and toe counting and generally being helpful which will be really nice for all of us.

We are so prepared now that any time is good but baby Davies needs to make his mind up when he'd like his birthday to be.

Daisie xxx

Avoidance Tactics

Last night while packing an order from my Folksy Shop I found some of these tiny little stud like buttons in lovely earthy neutral tones;


I had an idea and in an attmept (well not techinically an attempt as it worked) to avoid doing anymore ironing I set about going through all my button tins and seeing how many I could find. I found lots! I strung them onto some elastic and ta-dah;

I really like it, it's funky and 'different' but quite chic and grown up at the same time. Sadly I didn't find enough to make any more last night but my search will continue and hopefully I can find enough to make another to go in afore mentioned shop.

No baby as yet but more killer back ache, am not hopeful though think we may have days left to go :-( Technically I'm not due until tomorrow so shouldn't be too fed up as he's not made an appearance!

Today I have had visitors, my oldest friend in the world (and she is ancient) well not really as she's a little younger then me but we have been friends since we started high school together a lifetime ago. She brought her wonderful baby son and her lovely mother. I have been forced to sit and drink tea and eat egg sandwiches and chat for a while and I feel rested. Maybe not rested enough to do the ironing though.

Might just snuggle my little man for a while instead....

Daisie xxx

PS: I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has left me comments and sent emails over the last few days and apologise for being too huge and lazy to have replied! Normal service will be resumed shortly, one hopes! xxx

A Late Night

As I said in my last post we have had some of the nicest weather this week than we have had in a very long time! It seemed a shame to not be out enjoying it as we never know how long it will last at this time of year so we set off out to the coast.

We had our tea out, nothing beats fish at the seaside!

And spent most of the evening playing on the beach;

We found some interesting beach 'art', well a supermarket trolley that had been dumped and buried by the tide;

Found some interesting drift wood;

It was quite big, a tree me thinks;

We watched the sun sink into the sea;

We wrapped up in the car and drove along the coast road saying good night to the sea and the sky. We were thinking of driving through the illuminations at Blackpool but it was just soooo busy being Saturday night we decided it was best to come home to bed and go during the week once the clocks have moved back for the winter. When it will be darker sooner so not as busy.

Hopefully my last pregnant walk on the beach, fingers crossed!

Daisie xxx

Worms

The girls have been tired and cranky when they have been home this week but Nathaniel and I have missed them so much. He starts soon after lunch asking 'when I get mine girlies?' And what does a small boy do when he has no girlies? He plays with worms in a 'worm house' in the garden;

Hours of fun!!

There is still no sign of our new baby making an arrival anytime soon, although I do look like I may burst if he doesn't make his way out soon! I am so uncomfy. This week has been really hot and sunny; probably the best weather we've had since before the summer holidays (law of sod again) and I have found it hard. The baby is very low down in my pelvis and I am struggling to bend at all! Still (as the old lady in the post office says) not long now....... Four more days in theory. Personally would quite like him to come tonight or tomorrow so we have the weekend at home to recover before the onslaught of another monday morning! Anyhoo, I do believe that babies come when they are ready and perhaps he's just not cooked enough yet? Don't forget to pop here and pick a date if you haven't already.

Daisie xxx

Counting The Days

I don't really have anything very blog-worthy to share but thought I ought to make an apearance just to let you know that we are still five and still waiting to become six.

Lunch today; egg mayonaise (courtesy of Caroline's ladies) and chunky beetroot sandwich made with some uncut bread left from the weekend (well, it's law, you must have fat toast at the weekend) and a few kettle chips to finish off;


How nice!? I know I will suffer like mad in about an hour when my eyes are watering because of the heartburn but as it says above; I am counting the days now. Eight in theory but we'll see!

The girls returned to school today after the long summer holiday. The house is very quiet but Nathaniel and I have got lots and lots done. We have washed so much stuff (including some for Swirly as her machine is broken) and hung it in the garden, see now everyone is back at school it has stopped raining! We have cleaned the bathroom (including that bit behind the loo and the floor), washed the upstairs windows, made banana buns, made chicken soup for tea with the left overs from last night's roast, started the bread and left it to prove.

And I have managed after several weeks to contact the woman organising the training course I'll be starting this Thursday. I know the timing is terrible but I have been waiting for a place for nearly two years! I can work and co-run a support group at my children's centre as other memebers of staff have recieved training but I cannot go out into the community without this training. Apparently five years of breastfeeding (three different children) doesn't allow me to give advice and support. So by Christmas I will be fully qualified and hopefully I can give some much needed support to women in my own community, on my own door step and who knows where it'll lead me. Quite excited. Just need to not give birth on a wednesday night or thursday morning really and everything will be fine......

And I tried to take some pictures of my beautiful Y4 girl and her beautiful Y1 sister this morning but they seemed adamant that I wouldn't get a good one;

I do hope they've had a good day in their new classes and I can't wait to go and collect them later and give them big hugs (although Elizabeth won't allow this until we are out of sight of school) and feed them banana buns and hear all about it!

Daisie xxx

Independant Clothing Label?

I have been featured in a blog all about style!! A lovely lady called Sharon contacted me and said she liked to feature independant clothing labels, after I finished choking on my cup of tea and stopped laughing I agreed to answer some questions. Go have a little look see!!

Daisie xxx

The Hole In The Meadow

Last night while trawling through 'reader' I read this amazing post by Vonnie. I have been reading Vonnie's blog for a while now as she is clever and funny and a real inspiration (and her children are very beautiful)! I was surprised by the post and really pleased that she felt she could share. I wanted to leave her a supportive comment and when I scrolled down the page of comments already there I found this amazing description/explaination of how she must be feeling;

"Imagine walking through a lovely meadow. The sun shining. Looking up at a beautiful sky. Bright blue, lots of fluffy white clouds drifting by. Butterflies fluttering amongst the buttercups and daisies. Your fingers brushing the tips of the long grass as you walk…..and then suddenly, you stumble.


You manage to catch yourself after faltering for a bit. You dust yourself down, and keep on walking, admiring the beautiful surroundings. You stumble again, this time falling into a deep, unmarked pit. You keep falling and falling, grabbing out and flailing wildly to try and get a grip on something, anything. After what seems like forever, you stop your slide downwards and hit rock bottom. You are exhausted from your sudden and unexpected decent into darkness.


Before you know where you are, and what has happened, you are at the bottom of a deep hole with no idea how you got there or how to get out. You can see a chink of light in the top, but its quite far away, and you cant trust that the chink of light is the only way out, but you claw towards it anyway, even though you are exhausted and bruised and battered from your fall.


Its a lonely time in this hole. Only you and the darkness. You couldnt see anyone else even if they were there, because of the darkness and coldness of your environment. But once you realise where you are, you know you have to clamber out and,` if you are lucky, someone will pass by and offer a hand of help to pull you out.

Despite being exhausted, and bruised and battered, you clamber you way to the top, and you finally make your way out of the hole. Yet you are still shocked and stunned by what happened. How could you miss such a big hole in front of you? Why couldnt you see it coming? How come no-one before you has fallen into this hole (you think) and not thought to block it up? Many people before you has managed to walk through the meadow without falling into this pit, why couldnt you have seen it coming, or prevented it, or just had a better journey?

You are stood, standing in this beautiful meadow, but all you can think about is the dark hole that you have just fallen into and clambered out of, how sore and aching your body is, and how tired you are. The beauty around you means nothing for a while. But you are grateful to be out, and you realise you should appreciate the beautiful surroundings.

You keep walking, but you find yourself no longer admiring the sky, the clouds, the butterflies, the flowers. You are busy looking at your feet. Concentrating hard, because, you dont want to fall into another pit, and waylaid by your aching bones and tired body.

You lose sight of all the beautiful things around you because you are continuing your journey looking only down at the ground, on alert for danger. You dont appreciate the sky, the clouds, the flowers, the butterflies, because you are too scared of falling down another hole, you still have the bruises from the last fall.

You are terrified that, if you take your eyes off terra firma for a moment, you could slip down that hole again and you wont find your way out so easily this time.

It is a long, lonely journey, spent staring at the ground, before you trust your surroundings, and your instincts enough again to appreciate your journey, and realise its beauty. To wander through the meadow staring at the beautiful blue sky and fluffy white clouds."

It had been left by Flamesparrow, her friend had written it online somewhere.

It is so TRUE.

I have a history of depression from my early teens (maybe even sooner) that comes and goes at good and bad times in my life. I fell into a hole just like that after the brith of one of my children and it took me a good year to climb back out again. My husband was supportive and caring but didn't really understand. Neither did I. As a rational being I found it very hard to think and feel the things I did about my children and myself at that time. I did climb out, I did see the sky and all it's beauty again but the memory of the hole is still so vivid and scary.

I think maybe we should share more about how this is. It happens to thousands of women everyday but we still feel a huge amount of guilt and shame (I do). We won't stop women falling into holes, people will always fall into holes. But maybe if we all shared a little more we could stop women hitting the bottom and help them to climb out faster and hold their hands so they can look at the sky sooner.

I know that with the arrival soon of our new baby it is something that Simon worries about. Me too. This time I feel easier, I won't be alone. Neither is Vonnie.

Daisie xxx

Coordinated?

I had the best sleep I have had in ages last night. And the reason why? I put Nathaniel to bed with no nappy on, wish I'd done it this time last week! He has been dry during the day for over two weeks now but I had left him in nappies at night, not wanting to change a wet bed in the middle of the night and not wanting to cause him any anxiety. He has been waking very distressed and I had thought it was because he wanted to wee but was too sleepy and disorientated to realise it. However, when I wrestled him from his nappy and put him on the pot he failed to perform. He has slept fitfully on and off until morning when his nappy has been dry and his bladder has been massive. The potty was full to over flowing.

So last night we sat in bed and talked about not having a nappy on. He thought this was a good idea "I no wee on pants, I no wee-wee on 'jamas" Made sense to the little man. So I told him that he had to wee when Mummy put him on the potty in the night or he'd have a wet bed. He said he would. He stirred when I was going to bed around ten so I put him on the pot and he wee'd. He then slept until 5am and did the biggest wee I have ever seen! But because his bladder was then empty he went straight back to sleep until we were all ready to get up this morning. He very proudly had to go and tell his sisters that he "no wee-wee on 'jamas!" both of whom were suitably impressed. And in the seven hours I was not disturbed by Nathaniel's bladder mine was kind enough to let me sleep too :-)

So this morning when Simon went to work just before 8 and we had no plans I decided it was time to get my house in order, which is also known around here as extreme nesting!

I ran up a little 'net' curtain that I have been meaning to do for ages. Since Simon bought a big telly infact (although it's not as big as he wanted it to be as I am constantly reminded), many months ago. It is on the wall now (due to size and other man reasons) and because I don't dress the beautiful stained glass window at the front of our house people have been looking in on their way past and it infuriates Simon (especially when he's killing aliens on the PS3)! I hate traditional nets but compromised and made a small curtain with unbleached muslin;


Very quick, very easy and quite nice too.

I then had a mad clean upstairs, I have changed all the beds, vaccuumed all the floors, tidied everything to within an inch of it's life, dusted and sorted out all the baby clothes into the right places, been through the children's wardrobes and removed to storage anything that doesn't fit any of them at the moment. And after meaning to for ages I recovered the cushion of the chair that is in our bedroom at the mo;


Please excuse the paint tin still there, think it has become a permenant feature!

The chair was originally in the children's bedroom when it was yellow, we sprayed the chair red and it had a bright yellow winnie-the-pooh fabric seat. Bit ungrown-up in our room so something had to change. When (if) we ever get some good dry weather the chair will be dragged outside and either sprayed blue or white and then it'll really match!

Then, because I had this fabric out I made us a little door-stop;


Which matches the cushions I made about eighteen months ago (before we even had a blue room) for our bed;

My home is now lovely and tidy and dust and germ free, well, in places.......

I think my son may arrive early. I have had the grumbliest belly for about three days and the most awful back ache and an amazing sense of doom. It maybe my body getting ready to deliver but knowing my husband's time keeping skills, my previous deliveries and my luck it's just because I had a late night curry at the weekend with Simon (very bad idea), I am huge, it's quite warm and the weather is wet.

We'll see!

Daisie xxx