Thursday, 11 February 2010

What I Need Is.....

...... an early menopause! Feeling very sorry for myself today. I am not at graduation, am not partying, am not celebrating wonderful magic breasts with like minded people, am not showing off my amazing new hair colour. I have a migraine. Again. I have suffered migraine for twenty years now and if my mother is anything to go by I will suffer for another twenty years until I reach my menopause. I would swap any day for normal 'period pain'. Give me back ache, belly ache and general grottiness once a month. I have two days of stabbing eye pain, sickness, and aversion to light when I 'ovualte' and then four days of hell when I menstruate. I awoke at 3am yesterday morning to be sick. I had a piercing pain through my right eye from back to front, I had a numb cheek on the right side and a numb shoulder and breast on the same side. I knew this was going to be bad. I didn't dress yesterday and barely moved from the bed. Am so glad that my boys are so good and they just lay with me, Sebastian swapping from side to side, Nathaniel watching cbeebies and stroking my hair from time to time. I have been to school now three times in the same pair of vomit smelling pyjamas. I am going to try and get washed in a little while. I have managed to be sick only twice this morning. Yesterday I had to stop the car en route to school to be sick, the ultimate humiliation (I do hope no one saw me). This is the worst I have been since I became pregnant with Sebastian, I don't get them regularly when I'm pregnant. I think it's time to get serious again about treatment. It's stealing my life. I have tried hormone treatments and various drug packages without success but it has all gone by the way side as most of the last nine years I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding. I cannot spend the next twenty years like this. Feeling very sorry for myself and am teary about missing a very important celebration of my efforts and passion and ability. But crying is making my head hurt more, sniff, pulling self together. But on the plus side, I have managed to keep down water this morning and the numbness has left my breast so we have hit the peak and are now on the way back to normality. The strange (and annoying) thing is that I have not started to menstruate again and don't expect to for a while!

12 comments:

ANGLESEY ALLSORTS said...

I do feel for you, I have the same. I must say it has eased a bit since I have 'sort of'started the menopause. Do go back to the doc's - I have tried alsorts and these last lot (Imigran Radis) at least work most of the time - they just lessen or stop symptoms if you take the asap. I've tried alsorts to try and control/stop it happening, not much sucess - it is truely awful, I feel for you!

Vicky x

Marie said...

No words..... just {{{{HUGSSS}}}} a plenty. Hope you feel better soon and can get something to help deal with it. Sounds youchy!

xMx

Gina said...

Poor you. Wishing there was some practical advice I could offer. Sending virtual hugs.

jackanne said...

poor poor you! big hugs sent from me xxxx

niftyknits said...

Oh you poor love (((daisie)))

must admit I love no longer being in debt to Mr Tampax.

Jude said...

Oh you poor poor thing!! It sounds awful.
Wish I was closer to help..
Abit worried about your not expecting to menstrate???
Take care
x

sue said...

Oh poor poor you, no words of wisdom here but sending great big enormous ((((hugs))).
sue xxx

Sweet Mess said...

:(
sounds terribly hard. I hope you get well soon!

dottydaisies said...

sounds horrendous you poor thing -BIG hugs x

WendyCarole said...

sorry to hear you fee so awful xxxxxxxx

Martha said...

I truly understand your suffering. I went through the same thing beginning at age 38 and going right through menopause. My life was wrecked for several years. Please don't continue to suffer needlessly. So much work has been done in the area of migraine in recent years. I take Topamax daily and NEVER have a headache any more. You must see a neurologist who specializes in headaches. It takes a physician who has specialized in the area and has kept up with the latest techniques for treating the many varieties of migraine. I hope you will take steps to get those migraines under control so that you can totally enjoy your children and your creative life.

Best Wishes, Martha

smilernpb said...

Sending you lots of hugs. I often get headaches, but thankfully they are not migranes.

You are such a wonderful person and I hate to see people in pain and/or distress so I will hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs xx